on myself and feeling anxious

Oh hey there! I guess since this is my first official post, I should do a small introduction.
My name is Mary-Gray, I'm a 21 year old getting ready to graduate from college with a B.A. in English Literature. I'm currently living in Oregon, though in May I'm moving to Yellowstone for the summer. I grew up in Arizona and Minnesota, and have completely decided that I am a child of the sun, and need the desert to sustain myself. I love clothes and spend way too much money constantly improving my closet. There will probably be quite a few outfit of the day type posts, so get ready. I love to read and sometimes I even do random crafts. Mostly though, I live to hang out with my friends and laugh until we cry. We're a big group of silly women (sometimes The Boys come along for our adventures, but they are greatly outnumbered) and we know how to have a good time no matter what's happening. I have several tattoos (much to the chagrin of my parents), and am not planning on stopping any time soon. For now, I think that's all you need to know about me, I might do another general post in the future, but only time will tell. Now, on to the real reason I decided to write this post (besides the fact that I should be writing an essay on medieval literature right now....):

In exactly 19 days, I will be a college graduate, and I am completely overwhelmed.

I'm not scared, necessarily; I know everything will be fine and the world will keep spinning once I walk across that stage and get my diploma. There's still that small part of me, however, that is terrified out of my mind. I have been contemplating no longer being a student quite a lot lately. For roughly 16 years of my life, I've been in school, so no longer taking classes and doing homework is outside my norm. Yes, this transition out of school and into the real world happens to everyone lucky enough to get an education, but that doesn't make it any less surreal for me. Facing the real world isn't what I'm scared of. I don't have a permanent job, and will likely be moving back home at the end of September. (For the summer, I'll be working in Yellowstone at Lake Lodge at the front desk, but more on that later!) I know that I'll find "my calling" at some point and I know everything will be okay. These things are definite because I have a wonderful family that is willing to be my support and safety net (for a little while at least...). The thing I am most freaked out by? I'm terrified of losing contact with all the amazing people I've met in my four years here.
There is a huge chance that I will never see most of my classmates ever again. In some cases, this is definitely a relief, but what if I never see some very important people again? I went to a very small boarding school for my junior and senior year of high school (there were 200 people K-12, and 35 in my graduating class), and I haven't seen 97% of those people in four years. That breaks my heart, even though I pretty much ran out of high school screaming with joy. And yes, most of that joy came from not ever having to see 97% of those people ever again, but recently I have lost contact with almost every single friend I had in high school. We've moved away from each other and just changed so much in four years that we don't relate anymore. I'm really scared of that happening with my friends here. They are the most amazing group of people I have ever met, and the thought of not being able to call any of them at any time and hang out is depressing. Most of my friends live on campus (really the only exception is The Boys, who live a short walk from campus), and the majority of us live in the same apartment building, so there's always someone around. It's really strange to me that soon I will be embarking on my own adventure and I won't have that support system anymore. Granted, my real life plan at the moment is working at Yellowstone, where I will be living in a dorm with a bunch of other people my age, so I guess it's not too huge of a transition. I'm just trying to enjoy my last three weeks here as much as I possibly can, and spend as much time with the people I love. I know I won't lose contact with them for a long time, if ever, but the thought of not seeing these people every single day has been bouncing around in my head for a while. I've been reflecting on the last four years and feeling really nostalgic lately. I want to go back and start all over again, but alas, time only moves forward. For now at least.